Rapunzel
by Woodface
Summary: A spoof of Rapunzel I wrote at school, and it's not all that funny (some people think it is.... sad, lonely people)... it's bad but r/r please!


Hey all. I thought I'd just post this for the hell of it. I wrote it when I was about 9... so please forgive the stupidness of it all. It's a take on the trad fairy tale of Rapunzel. Enjoy and please review- reviews make my life a lot better. I'd like to know what you think of it.

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**____****RAPUNZEL**

SCENE 1

F.T. Welcome to the land of Rapunzel.

N. No, no, no! Try to start with a better beginning.

F.T. O.K, how about this…this is the story of Rapunzel. To start it off, we begin with our main character, Rapunzel. She is a talented young lady with hair long enough to climb. Everyone likes her- especially boys…

RAP. Hello. I am Rapunzel. Most people think that I am pretty. I have loads of boyfriends.

N. Oh, come on! Why is it always me who has to set people straight! Look, Rapunzel is not pretty to save her measly little life. She has short hair, and spends all her time studying! Despite what old Fairy Tale says, she hasn't had a boyfriend-ever!

RAP. (sigh) Oh well, I have to face the facts sometimes. I 'spose I am rather ugly and I haven't had a boyfriend in my life. (sigh again)

ooo000ooo 

SCENE 2… ON THE WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL.

F.T. Here we see Rapunzel, picking flowers on her way home. All of a sudden she saw a witch flying down on a broomstick, cackling(the way that witches do).

N. Any one would know that witches don't fly on broomsticks any more! It was a Snow Queen coming down in a car.

F.T. Yes, but how do you explain the cackling?

N. She was singing to the radio…

S.Q. Hop in my dear, your mother asked my to bring you home today. She said I would find you on your way back from school. Oh…you're looking at me strangely-you probably don't recognise me-I'm your Auntie Glenda!

N. Now, you would think that with all the studying she does, Rapunzel would know the difference between her Aunt and a Snow Queen, wouldn't you? For example-here is a picture of Auntie Glenda, and here is an artists impression of the Snow Queen…

F.T. Rapunzel hopped onto the broomsti-

N. -into the car-

F.T. _Onto_ the broomstick, unaware of what awaited her!

ooo000ooo 

SCENE 3…THE TOWER.

F.T. Rapunzel is in the tower, all alone. It gets pretty chilly up there, what with no central heating…

RAP. Oh, I wish a handsome prince would come and rescue me! He would whisk me away to his enchanted palace and we could live happily ever after!

FM. Come on, come on, make way people! The FEARLERLESS FIREMAN has come to save the day again! I'm going to put out the fire! (everyone moans)

RAP. Oh, I had my hopes up then! …never mind, I guess this "fireman" will have to do! Just think… he must be pretty fit to go around putting out fires!

(Rap. sticks her head out of the window and shouts to FM…)  
Hey!! (everyone but FM turns round)  
No, not you lot! The FIREMAN! Yeah, you! Look there is no fire here, but you can come and rescue me anyway!  
(Rap. sees what FM looks like, and pulling a face she says)  
Oh…… on second thoughts, I'd rather stay up here…

FM. Hey lady! You said you wanted me to come and rescue you, so I'm going to do it-wait a minute-you're Rapunzel, aren't you? Rapunzel, Rapunzel, where is your hair?

RAP. Why does everyone ask me that? I've had enough!(she faints)

ooo000ooo 

SCENE 4…THE TOWER AGAIN

N. Well, while you were looking away, quite a lot has happened! Rapunzel's "fairy godmother" came and "cast a spell" on Rapunzel saying that she would fall madly in love with the first person she saw-yeah right!

F.T. It seems that our dear friend Narrator doesn't believe in magic…… anyway, here we see Rapunzel slumped over the side of the window, with the fireman desperately trying wake her up!

N. Actually, we told him that a giant bumble bee from outer space was taking particular interest in him-he'll believe anything!

F.T. (taking no notice of N.) As a result of the fireman's desperate attempts, Rapunzel wakes up to see the fireman staring at her, as stiff as stone. She has a shock at first, but then falls madly in love with him!  
(N. makes sick noises and sticking fingers down throat action. When FM and Rap. turn round she stops immediately and looks innocent then starts again)

FM. I have your missing glass slipper here-put it on and be my bride!

F.T. (out of character) shouldn't we be doing Rapunzel here?

N. Hey, stop pretending to be me! Now, I'm going to slapyou to make you come round, but I'll have no responsibility for the consequences, OK?  
(N. slaps F.T. and someone makes a slap sound)

F.T. (F.T. starts to act like a chicken, and makes chicken sounds. N. slaps her again, and F.T. starts to act like a dog, so N. slaps her again)  
I'm sorry…. I don't know what came over me.

N. (whispering into F.T.'s ear)  
back to the story…………

F.T. oh yeah-Rapunzel and the fireman get married and live happily ever after!

EVERYONE. Now, that bit's true!!

ooo000ooo

THE END. 

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Yes... it was pants. Never mind. I was young and stupid. Now I'm just stupid.


End file.
